I guess I forgot that I abandoned my life here to begin a new one in Tennessee. Result: I don't have many friends here that I would hang out with regularly and the ones I do have are married. Bonk. I've spent the last few years seeing this place as being one of great memories and the place I escaped from. I was never looking back because there was no future there.
Now I'm seeing that I might've been wrong.
Which made me realize that coming home after graduation is the same as going anywhere. I'll be starting over. I'll have to make new friends again. Ones that share interests that I've developed in college. I'll have to meet new guys. Ones that share my values and faith (instead of the ones that are just a bunch of trouble/baggage). I thought coming home would be taking steps backward but in reality it's up to me which direction I want to take.
Home isn't the exciting and fun place that it was when I was in high school. I'm not overloaded with school/sports/music and thus I have way too much free time on my hands. The best part is this is something I would've faced anywhere. I'm not saying I'm committing to coming home after graduation in december. But i'm no longer going to consider ohio "home" because in actuality it isn't. Tennessee has become home and Ohio is just somewhere I grew up. If ohio wins out on the pros/cons list I may find myself here in a few months. And if it doesn't I'll be okay with that. I know who I am and I know that wherever I go, I won't be settling for the easy way out. And now I realize that ohio isn't necessarily the easy solution. In fact it may be tougher than others because I no longer fit in a place that I used to own.
On the plus side, I'm visiting some friends tomorrow afternoon and thursday night, and I'm spending time with one of my besties and her husband on friday. things are looking up for this bored chick.
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