You make all things work together for my good.

Before I can even begin to write a blog you should know this: I just sneezed and instead of snot exiting my nose, there was an earthquake inside my brain. Like, the sneeze just stayed in my nose and made my entire skull vibrate. It's a phenomenon I hope to never repeat. Terrifying.

But seriously, I think it's time to announce the good news: I got a job today as a bank teller! Well technically I received "the call" yesterday. Now, I know my last post talked about my dream job as a residential house parent. And really, working with this group of kids is truly where my heart is. However, after a lot of prayer and list making, I decided to make the move to Barberton, Ohio to live with my family official. That's right. I'm regressing to pre-college dependent Sierra. Fret not, I'll be independent as soon as financially possible.

Leaving Tennessee was one of the hardest choices I've ever made. I was part of a sisterhood that carried me through some of the roughest days of my life so far. I created friendships that developed into future bridesmaids. I ate A LOT of ice cream, japanese, and tacos. I went on dates and had failed romances. I ran a half-marathon with my freshman roommate, who is also my best friend. I discovered the power of leggings and boots, as opposed to actually wearing pants. I white-water rafted, cliff jumped, bungee jumped, and watched multiple meteor showers from the top of a mountain. It's safe to say Southeast Tennessee stole a piece of my heart.

Despite how much I loved this place, after (more) prayer I knew it was time to let it go. At least for now. Leaving behind friendships that seem too short and the beauty of a southern fall. As I was driving through the countryside in Cleveland, TN, I looked up at the moon to just admire how crazy bright it was. Immediately, I saw the mountain that was silhouetted by the moon's light; the same mountain I'd driven up for hikes, meteor showers, dates, and long talks with friends. I began to cry. I could feel my heart breaking.

At this point I stopped my car in the middle of the curvy, mountain road and just stood next to "Peggy" (my minivan) and admired God's work. It was easily one of the most breathtaking moments of my life. It's a moment that will forever be stored in my memory photo-album. Of course, I continued to cry. I wish I could give justice to this moment but I think what made it so impactful was God's gift of true, unaltered beauty to me. In that instant, I forgot every task I had ahead of me as I moved and remembered the incredible times I had in this place. On top of this, I remembered His consistency during some of the most inconsistent times of my life.

Climbing back into my van, I had a moment of doubt. I didn't even have a job in Ohio! How could I leave somewhere I love so much? How could I leave people who had become closer than my family had ever been to accepting and understanding the real me? Just HOW God? How could God expect me to do something that hurt so much?

Then I remembered that all God was asking for was trust. So, weepy Sierra began repeating the mantra of, "okay, I'm trusting you. I'm trusting you. I'm trusting you." over and over and over again.

Two days later, I've arrived home and began settling into my new quarters. I'm sharing a room with my 19 year old (still in college) sister and preparing myself for life in Northeast Ohio. I've decided to get reinvolved in my home church (or find a new one that suits new, progressive, hippie religious sierra- aka all you need is love-- it's faith not works, yall.) and begin volunteering at a youth center for at-risk youth in Akron. The same youth center I attended on Thursdays nights when I was in middle school. Also, grad school plans are back on for the fall too! And, I've been offered a job. It's all coming together. Thanks to trust.

And if you could be lost you’d find yourself at home

Today I had to survive the facebook attack of snow and friend filled fun in the Southeast. That's right... the second snowstorm of the year hit Cleveland, TN and a majority of my friends are snowed-in with each other. I, on the other hand, have been basking in the snow of NE Ohio for the last 3 weeks. I'm not complaining, I freaking love snow. It's the only thing bringing me back to the North eventually (sorry family). I'm just over the gross, slushy, brown snow that has been created by cars on the roads. If it stayed sparkly and clean we'd have a deal.

How do people survive growing up? I'm really attempting not to be a whiny girl, but I'm finding this to be a legitimate complaint. I rarely get homesick but I'm so "schoolsick" it is ridiculous. On the brighter side, I did get multiple convos with my amazing friends in Tennessee today. That made the sting of being far away feel less acute. The problem is I love learning. I've always been in school and writing papers. I don't know how I'm going to make this transition to working instead of learning. Maybe someday I'll make a career out of academics. Until then, it's off to the job search races.

I've officially had 3 job interviews over the phone this week! Progress is being made. Despite how cool it'd be to get a grown up job right out of college, I'm secretly hoping that everything works out for this residential internship I've applied for. It pays next to nothing but I'll get to spend all my time working with kids that are neglected, abused, and/or HIV+. If you know anything about me, you know this is my dream job. My one goal in life is to simply love someone who has never experienced it and I may actually get the chance to do that. It would involve me moving even farther from my family and friends than I already am but I'm ready. I'm trying not to get too excited until I have a start date from the organization, but I'm beyond excited. Now they just need to tell me when I'd start so I can plan accordingly. There is a life to be packed and moved from Tennessee and these things just don't happen overnight.

I'm ready to start new and do something that is completely mine. I've faced opposition from my grandfather at the possibility of moving away again. So much so that he gave me the classifieds from the Akron Beacon Journal with suitable job opportunities circled. Not to mention his constant promotion of the Nursing industry... Clearly he doesn't realize that I have no interest in bed pans, scrubs, and assisting doctors in probe insertion. No thank you. It's kind of invigorating, this whole going somewhere completely unfamiliar and the uncertainty of what I'll meet there.

Now Playing- Young the Giant. If you have not heard this band, and you like the sounds of Phoenix (minus the electronic stuff), I can guarantee you will probably love them. I'm obsessed.

In other news, engagements are running rampant among my friends. Beware of they hype of the holiday season (which I extend to that wretched 2nd week in february). I know this may be hard to believe for many but an engagement isn't just the next step in a relationship. It is the decision to get married. So if you aren't ready for marriage, don't bother asking the question. And if you're just anxious to have sex (for all those conservative fundamentalists out there-- sorry but the stereotype fits here), just go for it... or don't. But don't use marriage as an excuse to get laid because your marriage will suck. **stepping off soapbox**

Job Status: still searching but possibilities are present.
5k training: 2 miles at a 12 min/mi pace. I will overcome.
Grad School status: possibly postponing for a year... we shall see.
Location: Barberton, Ohio for now. But maybe I'll be calling somewhere in the West home soon :)

cabin fever setting in.

I have officially spent more time in my living room than outside of it. If you think I'm exaggerating, think again. I'm pretty sure there is a semi-permanent imprint of my behind on my favorite couch cushion on our sorta new living room furniture set. Not to mention the 3 or 4 lbs I have surely put on over the holiday season to create a lasting impression. Oh the joys of being home for the holidays.

I just graduated from college on December 11th. I have no job and a lease in Tennessee until May. Add my AT&T bill each month (yes, the iPhone is necessary) and you have one broke A** Sierra.

So the dilemma I now face: to move home or not to move home (home being akron, ohio where my entire family lives--with the exception of one aunt in florda). Naturally, I've already created a pros and cons list, with free food at home being a major mitigating factor. I'm no closer to making a decision but I am closer to caring less each day. I'm just taking life one day at a time.

Of course, I'm applying for jobs each and every day in ohio, tennessee, massachusetts, new york... east coast, west coast... I even contemplated alaska for a second. I know desperation really isn't an attractive quality in a woman. Heck it isn't attractive in a man either. That said, it's not that I'm desperate for a job. I just want to DO something. Even if it means being a janitor at the elementary school my sister attends (which is conveniently located across the street from my Dad's house), I would do it. Okay, that may be stretching it a little far considering how I am not a huge fan of cleaning up after vom-ing children... but I think my point is made. In the mean time I've decided to accept the fact that I'm here in Ohio for now and that's okay. I get to spend time with my family, utilize that YMCA membership, DVR to my hearts content, keep up with my teams via SportsCenter and all our other sports channels (including the Big Ten Network!), and get plugged in to the running scene here in Akron.

That's right! tomorrow after my morning workout at the Y with my sister and subsequent eye exam (meaning I get new glasses! joy!) I'll be venturing to a specialty running store near downtown Akron to buy a new pair of shoes as I train for another half marathon. I haven't decided which one I'll run but there's countless opportunities to run once spring hits the North and if I'm stuck here I may as well work toward something substantial.

With all the uncertainty of my life aside, I can truly say it's been a long time since I have felt this content. I don't have a full life plan and I'm forced to take it a day at a time. It's a new concept for me but is proving to be rewarding. I'm simply happy and I love that. At the center of that contentment, I'm sure, is my relationship with God. He's proving to be steadfast as always and His consistency is the only thing keeping me sane right now. thank goodness.

Job Status: still searching. apathy threatening.
1/2 marathon training: Jan 3rd begins 5k training. Goal: 10 min/mi and a 5k time under 30 mins or less
Grad School status: applications started at Ohio State, Fordham, Boston U, and Case Western
Housing status: currently residing on the couch adjacent to the christmas tree. Hoping to upgrade to a room, somewhere (anywhere).