Before I can even begin to write a blog you should know this: I just sneezed and instead of snot exiting my nose, there was an earthquake inside my brain. Like, the sneeze just stayed in my nose and made my entire skull vibrate. It's a phenomenon I hope to never repeat. Terrifying.
But seriously, I think it's time to announce the good news: I got a job today as a bank teller! Well technically I received "the call" yesterday. Now, I know my last post talked about my dream job as a residential house parent. And really, working with this group of kids is truly where my heart is. However, after a lot of prayer and list making, I decided to make the move to Barberton, Ohio to live with my family official. That's right. I'm regressing to pre-college dependent Sierra. Fret not, I'll be independent as soon as financially possible.
Leaving Tennessee was one of the hardest choices I've ever made. I was part of a sisterhood that carried me through some of the roughest days of my life so far. I created friendships that developed into future bridesmaids. I ate A LOT of ice cream, japanese, and tacos. I went on dates and had failed romances. I ran a half-marathon with my freshman roommate, who is also my best friend. I discovered the power of leggings and boots, as opposed to actually wearing pants. I white-water rafted, cliff jumped, bungee jumped, and watched multiple meteor showers from the top of a mountain. It's safe to say Southeast Tennessee stole a piece of my heart.
Despite how much I loved this place, after (more) prayer I knew it was time to let it go. At least for now. Leaving behind friendships that seem too short and the beauty of a southern fall. As I was driving through the countryside in Cleveland, TN, I looked up at the moon to just admire how crazy bright it was. Immediately, I saw the mountain that was silhouetted by the moon's light; the same mountain I'd driven up for hikes, meteor showers, dates, and long talks with friends. I began to cry. I could feel my heart breaking.
At this point I stopped my car in the middle of the curvy, mountain road and just stood next to "Peggy" (my minivan) and admired God's work. It was easily one of the most breathtaking moments of my life. It's a moment that will forever be stored in my memory photo-album. Of course, I continued to cry. I wish I could give justice to this moment but I think what made it so impactful was God's gift of true, unaltered beauty to me. In that instant, I forgot every task I had ahead of me as I moved and remembered the incredible times I had in this place. On top of this, I remembered His consistency during some of the most inconsistent times of my life.
Climbing back into my van, I had a moment of doubt. I didn't even have a job in Ohio! How could I leave somewhere I love so much? How could I leave people who had become closer than my family had ever been to accepting and understanding the real me? Just HOW God? How could God expect me to do something that hurt so much?
Then I remembered that all God was asking for was trust. So, weepy Sierra began repeating the mantra of, "okay, I'm trusting you. I'm trusting you. I'm trusting you." over and over and over again.
Two days later, I've arrived home and began settling into my new quarters. I'm sharing a room with my 19 year old (still in college) sister and preparing myself for life in Northeast Ohio. I've decided to get reinvolved in my home church (or find a new one that suits new, progressive, hippie religious sierra- aka all you need is love-- it's faith not works, yall.) and begin volunteering at a youth center for at-risk youth in Akron. The same youth center I attended on Thursdays nights when I was in middle school. Also, grad school plans are back on for the fall too! And, I've been offered a job. It's all coming together. Thanks to trust.
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